Lena!!! Help our child she is so sick! said the dad called Denis of Lena and Denise. Call the ambulance now Lena! said Denis.
at the hospital
Piep piep piep. Is she going to be okay? said Denis. Sorry but we don't know yet. WE saw a lot of patients with this virus. said the doctor. please save my little girl... said Denis.
2 weeks later
We finally got help from all around the world. By getting money for the medicine most people are alive.
I hope we can help other people too. By giving more money are you in?
2 comments:
This is very emotive, especially with the dialogue. This is a very persuasive piece, good job!
To improve, I would suggest when there is speech, to put this in speech marks to indicate this to the reader.
Hi Charlize,
I really like that you asked a rhetorical question but remember speech marks.
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