'Who threw that!'.Then he saw a girl who was hiding.He tried to see the girl with mauve hair from a far distance.Then he tried to look under and he saw nothing.Then the girl was tearful for Noah,she went to Noah and apologies to Noah that she threw the bar of steel.
3 comments:
I like when the girl who threw the steel or the bar feel guilty about the thing she have done.
Spaces behind the full stops please.
When I saw the title of your story I wondered what it would be about, but I never guessed this!!
You have used the past tense consistently, well done.
You could say "the steel bar" or "the bar of steel".
Hi Nathan,
I really like the way you used the the words but when you wrote she went to Noah and apologies to Noah you only need to say Noah once.
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