I stood up tall ready to walk through the portal. But it was no help at all, my hands were trembling, my eyes watering. I could see small people, or whatever they were, come closer. I tried to show no signs of fear, but they kept walking forward, angrily. I looked up at a mysteriously creepy sky "What is happening?" I could feel tension growing through my mouth to my feet. As the weather changed, they picked me up. I could feel a liquid rush through my throat. They threw me in the portal, carelessly.
The Weather portal is cursed!!!........
3 comments:
Great use of adjectives and adverbs and your description really conveys the sense of dread.
Maybe find an alternative for "look" in the sentence "I looked up at a mysterious looking sky" to avoid repetition.
To Leah
your work is so good that i have nothing to improve you on.
From Fiona
Love your story.
I don't really understand some bits in the story.(personal)
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