I tip toed along the orange muddy floor. Suddenly "SNAP" I stepped on a wide, hard stick that snapped apart. I could see the world spin around me. My head started to ache and I started to think if it was a dream. But it wasn't! I saw eyes circling me. Then a tree collapsed, I struggled to free my leg but I couldn't. Up within the trees I saw a creature, the biggest of them all. It looked like a crocodile, but worse! My mind started to dim and my eyes started to close. I thought and thought.But who can it be?
5 comments:
I like your story but I think that the animal is weird. I also like the way you used Snap!
I like the way you describe the orange muddy floor.
Nice use of onomatopoeia.
I really enjoyed the suspension and your onomatopoeia. How did your leg get stuck? In future posts try to describe the situation a little bit more.
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