I got shivers, as the water drops echoed through the cave. The sound of bats filled up the silence, I held Mason's hand , my older brother.
"Melody, I'm here, it's fine." He said. His soft and gentle voice soothed my ears and I loosened my grip on him. We felt the ground shake, I saw water splashing our way. Mason was already on a stone above the water, he pulled me up. The water calmed down and we walked towards the way the water came, but the water just kept gushing out.
"Don't move and you'll live' A voice spoke.
2 comments:
I like your story because there is good vocabulary and description.
That's a strong opening line Joanna, which you then follow by introducing your characters. In two brief sentences, you've pretty much set the scene and captured my interest. I also loved the richness of the 'His soft and gentle ...' sentence, together with the intriguing ending.
Well done and keep rising to the Challenge. I'll be recommending your story for this week's Showcase :-)
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